I do. I must.
I am a Cancer after all; sentimentality is my reality
Even if I don’t admit it to myself
it’s there when I feel the ascension through my spine
in the chorus of All the Moments
euphoric.
Or how you pointed out it was “anti-Cancer” to listen to music just because
without having it be a spiritual experience
And I responded with 2 minutes of describing the precise moment when I first heard Castaway Angels before even talking about the song
(How easy it is to have someone else explain me)
I remember where I was, what I was going. Driving out of the desert and towards the forest
Long hours alone thinking of hurricanes and fires
I remember Einar’s voice growing from a crystal falsetto to a belted, warm vibrato
how that stirred through my fingers
But what was I feeling?
It must be in the song, right?
not in me
In my aphelion from myself is when I remember
Maybe this time
in surrender
I’ll remember as if I was there
Poem and photo inspired by Gladys Wangeci Gitau-Damaskos and her creative team’s cover for her book, I’m Not Allowed to Explain (Only Foreshadow & Reminisce).
